to be ignored….. April 2, 2012
Posted by thehutch in ponderings, thoughts.Tags: honesty, ignorance, ignore, integrity, leadership, relationships
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It is amazing how often we hear it…..maybe, even said it ourselves (we know we have!) that someone is “ignoring me”. It is more common than we think. However, is it really true? Is it that we are being ignored or that people are not communicating with us in the way we would want/need or demand?
Let’s have an example. If I have reason to doubt that someone is honest, I tend to go quiet with them. I will say hello or respond if they happen to talk with me but will not go out of my way to begin a new conversation, after all, I am doubting if they are trustworthy. If they respond in a similar way, it is not fair of me to say that the individual is ‘ignoring me’ – they happen to be responding in kind.
A better response is to ask, why is my communication with this individual lacking? It may be that before you accuse them of ignoring you, you may have to remove the log from your own eye.
presence when it matters January 27, 2012
Posted by thehutch in ponderings.Tags: people, presence, relationships, time
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So often we take our pithy comments or our attending of events lightly. They matter more than we would believe……it matters more to people when the chips are down and are likely never to be forgotten.
A young person, with whom I had a special privilege of working with, brought this truth to home in my own life. He was a ‘star’ youth group member when his closest friend was killed in a road traffic accident, it was a tough time that hit us all hard. This youngster in particular removed himself from people and his grief took a heavy toll. A long time later he went missing and I was asked to help find him. In a moment of inspiration, I went straight to where he was, said nothing, and sat near him until he was ready to leave the gravestone by which he sat. We said very little and as I left him at his front door, he said, “Thank you, I knew you would understand.”
Sometimes, our presence matters above all else. Where do we find ourselves when it really matters?
treat people well January 20, 2012
Posted by thehutch in ponderings.Tags: disagreements, friendships, relationships, treat people well
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The pathway of life is littered with casualties of broken or soured relationships. I believe that the “end well” motto is difficult to fulfil but it is possible to ensure that as you leave people, it can be harmonious when you next meet with them.
People have a remarkable ability to forget things, they forget less their feelings after you have made them feel comfortable, wanted and loved. When you treat people well, even the strongest of disagreements can be placed to one side.
when people hurt you June 23, 2010
Posted by thehutch in personal, ponderings, thoughts.Tags: hurt, pain, people, relationships, thoughts
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No-one who has contact with other members of the human race will ever be immune from some of the hurts and pains of disappointment and upset that will occur. It is a fact of life. How we deal with these moments determine how those relationships will continue into the future – will they thrive or survive?
1) Do not respond immediately – immediate responses are rarely helpful
2) Consider the need for a response – there may be no need to respond but if you do be careful not to further stir the fire of discord
3) Be courteous and gracious – you cannot determine the path others take, you can determine your own steps
4)What can you learn? – is this an opportunity to learn something new?, to discover new ways of working?
5) Do not bear grudges – this helps nobody
These are just a few things that I have tried to action, wish that I was more successful.
